Are you afraid of your SUCCESS?
Updated: Nov 17, 2022
Nine times out of 10, when I ask you what it is that you would like to do, you say you don't know.
Or, rather, you say that you don't know, even though - deep down - you DO know. But have been too afraid to say it out loud.
You've convinced yourself that the thing that you want is unrealistic, not attainable, silly even.
Or there are SO many things you'd like to do that you are confusing yourself.
You're so busy being confused and stuck, that you never get to think about the other side of things.
Because what would happen if you were to identify what you wanted to do, and then became a GIANT success?
What if you were WILDLY successful at what you do?
Fear of success.
Or the Upper Limit Problem, as Gay Hendricks calls it (see the book review below).
It's real, you know.
And it's holding you back as much as feeling stuck in your current career.
Are you getting scared when you think of what may lie in front of you? Start to procrastinate when you work towards something YOU want? Self-sabotage your plans, so that they never become a reality?
Yep, you may be a sufferer too!
There may be a number of reasons why you can be fearful of success:
1. You don't know who you'll become
For so long you've been this person. You've done this job. And now you're becoming someone else.
In fact, I'd go as far as saying that you don't really KNOW who you'll become. How far you can fly. What you can do.
You've been holding yourself back for so long, that it can feel unsettling, footloose. Or you may be worried that you're turning into someone you don't recognise.
2. You'll lose other people
If you change and your circumstances change what will be the impact on other people, is what you may think. Your personal and professional growth may come at the cost of your relationships with others.
3. People may think you're big-headed
A wise person said 'What other people think is none of your business'. Easier said than done, I know.
4. You may think that greater success comes with higher expectations and a higher workload
Deep down you know this is not true. Working harder and longer doesn't lead to more success. Nor does it work the other way around. This is not a linear thing.
Which is why I really want to say this:
You DESERVE success and to create a life and career you love.
YOU get to decide what that looks like for you. Not the scared, small, hiding you, but the real you hidden underneath.
YOU are in charge or not only making it happen, but deciding on who gets to be part of your success too!
YOU get to decide who you are, what you want, and come up with ways of making it happen.
YOU bring along those people you want to be part of that world.
Not your fears. Not your doubts. Not the little voices or gremlins telling you differently.
So, what is YOUR version of success? And when are you going to make that happen?
Tineke Tammes is an ICF credentialed Career Coach, who supports professional women in making successful transitions to careers of Freedom, Flexibility and Fulfilment! Besides that she is also a lifelong feminist, part-time portrait artist, never-only-read-one-book-at-any-time reader, and obsessive doodler. Oh, and she knows a bit about change management too.
Join her now in Pick 'n Mix - the FREE community for creative, multi-passionate women.
This blog appeared as a newsletter first on 11 November 2022. Want to get more of this? Sign up to my newsletter and get my 5 step mini-course straight into your inbox. Sign up here: Join my newsletter